Tamcapgep is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid fish.

Tamcapgep created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamcapgep, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tamcapgep, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tamcapgep's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Tamcapgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of seals.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not kill manatees.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.