Quillquafran is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, pitiless fox.

Quillquafran created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillquafran, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quillquafran, it will be very unhappy.

Quillquafran's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Quillquafran's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quillquafran.

2. Run away from red gulls, for they are unholy.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think ill of sick shrews.

5. Always look after injured aardvarks.