Rapbasskad is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, merciful penguin.

Rapbasskad created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Rapbasskad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rapbasskad, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Rapbasskad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Rapbasskad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Run away from turquoise aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Never sprint near eagles.