Tandutgad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, capable donkey.

Tandutgad created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tandutgad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tandutgad, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tandutgad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tandutgad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sheep.

2. Never think about chlorophyll.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tandutgad.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.