Loopnutten is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, emotional faun.

Loopnutten created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopnutten, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Loopnutten, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Loopnutten's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Loopnutten's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Always treat sharks with great respect.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.