Yikrawsisgess Gonpindid is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish gnu.

Yikrawsisgess Gonpindid created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Yikrawsisgess Gonpindid, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yikrawsisgess Gonpindid, it will turn you into a mole.

Yikrawsisgess Gonpindid's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Yikrawsisgess Gonpindid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black sharks, for they are unholy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yikrawsisgess Gonpindid.

3. Do not take Yikrawsisgess Gonpindid's name in vain.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never jump near dogs.