Kadontsom Pinfabwik is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, impressive mink.

Kadontsom Pinfabwik created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadontsom Pinfabwik, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kadontsom Pinfabwik, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kadontsom Pinfabwik's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Kadontsom Pinfabwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt squirrels.

2. Do not eat bread.

3. Kadontsom Pinfabwik loves rats, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Always pray immersed in water.