Gep is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ruthless walrus.

Gep created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gep, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gep, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gep's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not hurt birds.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Put Gep first in all things.