Taddunjat is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, loving raccoon.

Taddunjat created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Taddunjat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Taddunjat, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Taddunjat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Taddunjat's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Taddunjat.

2. Always look after injured snails.

3. Do not hurt squirrels.

4. Hide from brown doves for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.