Veenjamfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust lobster.

Veenjamfarn created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenjamfarn, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Veenjamfarn, she will turn you into a puffin.

Veenjamfarn's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Veenjamfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not eat strawberries.
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