Saw is a god.

She takes the form of a large, amazing octopus.

Saw created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saw, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Saw, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Saw's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Saw's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always obey Saw's priests.