Komhudmig Hakvinnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, irritating mongoose.

Komhudmig Hakvinnurl created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Komhudmig Hakvinnurl, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Komhudmig Hakvinnurl, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Komhudmig Hakvinnurl's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Komhudmig Hakvinnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed gooseberries to tortoises while wearing shirts.

4. Never talk about optics near pigs while wearing black rings and balancing nine iron spheres on your legs.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.