Huglooptaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest giraffe.

Huglooptaf created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Huglooptaf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Huglooptaf, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Huglooptaf's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Huglooptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not take Huglooptaf's name in vain.

3. Feed all hungry dolphins.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about nematodes.