Fagmumbop is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, humane lobster.

Fagmumbop created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagmumbop, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fagmumbop, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fagmumbop's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Fagmumbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Retreat if four turtles approach from the south.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fagmumbop.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fagmumbop.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.