Hubquartstig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, charitable sheep.

Hubquartstig created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hubquartstig, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hubquartstig, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hubquartstig's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Hubquartstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about great tits.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.