Vonhamlaghit Larnlogbiss is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring octopus.

Vonhamlaghit Larnlogbiss created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Vonhamlaghit Larnlogbiss, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonhamlaghit Larnlogbiss, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vonhamlaghit Larnlogbiss' most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Vonhamlaghit Larnlogbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near mice.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never feed onions to bats while wearing jumpers.