Tomfarnton is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, irritating narwhal.

Tomfarnton created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomfarnton, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tomfarnton, he will come to you in dreams.

Tomfarnton's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tomfarnton's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.