Begtik is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, two-faced gerbil.

Begtik created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Begtik, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Begtik, it will curse you with boils.

Begtik's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Begtik's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not speak about figs.

3. Feed all hungry seals.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.