Nutyaknarl is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, kind snail.

Nutyaknarl created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutyaknarl, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nutyaknarl, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nutyaknarl's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Nutyaknarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to whales while wearing corsets.

2. Nutyaknarl loves seals, so they must be respected.

3. Always help monkeys in need.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.