Lipbimwad is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, self-assured monkey.

Lipbimwad created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lipbimwad, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lipbimwad, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Lipbimwad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Lipbimwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lipbimwad.

3. Do not take Lipbimwad's name in vain.

4. Never hurt tortoises.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.