Bastmegxem is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable spider.

Bastmegxem created vertebrates seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastmegxem, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bastmegxem, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bastmegxem's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bastmegxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always look after injured capybaras.

5. Do not chop down trees.