Flabcamcit is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, idiotic rhinoceros.

Flabcamcit created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Flabcamcit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flabcamcit, it will come to you in dreams.

Flabcamcit's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Flabcamcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about onions.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to rats while wearing green ear rings.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near cats while wearing turquoise shorts.

4. Never think about spacetime near dogs while wearing indigo kilts and balancing four titanium spheres on your legs.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.