Tipcissfet Vagkip is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, tiresome tortoise.

Tipcissfet Vagkip created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tipcissfet Vagkip, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tipcissfet Vagkip, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tipcissfet Vagkip's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tipcissfet Vagkip's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.