Xuckvantin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish gorilla.

Xuckvantin created the Small Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Xuckvantin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xuckvantin, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Xuckvantin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Xuckvantin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat doves with great respect.

2. Never laugh near swans.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xuckvantin.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Respect your elders.