Dityogbadquag is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable otter.

Dityogbadquag created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dityogbadquag, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dityogbadquag, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Dityogbadquag's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dityogbadquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Dityogbadquag's priests.

2. Never wear blue ear rings.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near dolphins while wearing pink shirts and balancing three carbon spheres on your neck.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never hurt seals.