Pankipcap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome gnu.

Pankipcap created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pankipcap, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Pankipcap, he will turn you into a tree.

Pankipcap's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Pankipcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Pankipcap on top of all buildings.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not covet oxen.