Nutganarm is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, grumpy manatee.

Nutganarm created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutganarm, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nutganarm, he will destroy your favourite star.

Nutganarm's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Nutganarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never mention dogs.