Sabquimsak is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, temperamental crocodile.

Sabquimsak created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sabquimsak, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sabquimsak, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sabquimsak's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Sabquimsak's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not take Sabquimsak's name in vain.

4. Never talk about whales.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.