Wiknullteen Kikxemtabfumkamjenfed is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish hydra.

Wiknullteen Kikxemtabfumkamjenfed created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wiknullteen Kikxemtabfumkamjenfed, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wiknullteen Kikxemtabfumkamjenfed, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Wiknullteen Kikxemtabfumkamjenfed's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Wiknullteen Kikxemtabfumkamjenfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Wiknullteen Kikxemtabfumkamjenfed must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about monkeys.

4. Never eat parsnips.

5. Do not keep five swans in a large pit.