Zodbogxucsog is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, slow cow.

Zodbogxucsog created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodbogxucsog, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zodbogxucsog, he will turn you into a snail.

Zodbogxucsog's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Zodbogxucsog's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four rats approach from the west.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat snakes with great respect.

4. Always look after injured mice.

5. Run away if eight bats approach from the east.