Arnquillbed is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, duplicitous wyrm.

Arnquillbed created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnquillbed, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Arnquillbed, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Arnquillbed's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Arnquillbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about dark matter near doves while wearing mauve trousers and balancing five nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.