Barnstipfodhigdossiskad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, amazing porpoise.

Barnstipfodhigdossiskad created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnstipfodhigdossiskad, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Barnstipfodhigdossiskad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Barnstipfodhigdossiskad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Barnstipfodhigdossiskad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about dark energy near otters while wearing mauve trousers and balancing four silver spheres on your chest.

5. Never wear brown shoes.