Gonfuntin is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witty gnu.

Gonfuntin created a Higgs boson two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonfuntin, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gonfuntin, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gonfuntin's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gonfuntin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.