Dumtan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, vain toad.

Dumtan created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumtan, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dumtan, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dumtan's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Dumtan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about special relativity near dolphins while wearing brown ear rings and balancing five iron spheres on your back.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.