Govsuggof is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, omniscient porpoise.

Govsuggof created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govsuggof, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Govsuggof, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Govsuggof's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Govsuggof's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never feed lots of figs to shrews while wearing white hats.

3. Do not speak about pineapples.

4. Erect five silicon sculptures of Govsuggof on top of important buildings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.