Kemyarppag Nibrot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, charitable beaver.

Kemyarppag Nibrot created the Sombrero Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemyarppag Nibrot, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kemyarppag Nibrot, she will not care at all.

Kemyarppag Nibrot's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Kemyarppag Nibrot's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise eagles, for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near birds while wearing cyan dresses and balancing five tin spheres on your legs.

4. Kemyarppag Nibrot loves ants, so they must be honoured.

5. Never play with disobedient children.