Bedlengun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient narwhal.

Bedlengun created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Bedlengun, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bedlengun, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bedlengun's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bedlengun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Always obey Bedlengun's priests.