Yartkimbod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, benevolent rat.

Yartkimbod created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Yartkimbod, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yartkimbod, he will turn you into a sheep.

Yartkimbod's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Yartkimbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yartkimbod.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.