Zagzakveenmon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, competent squirrel.

Zagzakveenmon created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagzakveenmon, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zagzakveenmon, she will destroy your home solar system.

Zagzakveenmon's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zagzakveenmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Fast once a month.