Dadshaveg is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, omniscient jaguar.

Dadshaveg created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadshaveg, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dadshaveg, he will turn you into a hamster.

Dadshaveg's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dadshaveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near manatees while wearing purple hats and balancing eight zinc spheres on your legs.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dadshaveg.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing brown rings.