Xincamlarn is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sage fish.

Xincamlarn created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xincamlarn, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Xincamlarn, he will turn you into a dog.

Xincamlarn's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Xincamlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to swans while wearing gray stockings.

3. Feed all hungry tapirs.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Xincamlarn in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.