Nakquatgep is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, conceited tapir.

Nakquatgep created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nakquatgep, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nakquatgep, it will turn you into a tree.

Nakquatgep's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Nakquatgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never mention squirrels.