Flapponsit Lenranxenloop is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, prudent lobster.

Flapponsit Lenranxenloop created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapponsit Lenranxenloop, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flapponsit Lenranxenloop, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Flapponsit Lenranxenloop's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Flapponsit Lenranxenloop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Flapponsit Lenranxenloop in the centre of the settlement.

2. Retreat if three great tits approach from the east.

3. Always look after injured tortoises.

4. Never think about gravity near manatees while wearing orange scarves and balancing six carbon spheres on your face.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.