Hubwabcud is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, temperamental jaguar.

Hubwabcud created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hubwabcud, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hubwabcud, she will turn you into a duck.

Hubwabcud's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Hubwabcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink hats.

2. Never bounce near great tits.

3. Always help bats.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.