Ponbellrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, able walrus.

Ponbellrutt created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponbellrutt, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ponbellrutt, she will laugh at you.

Ponbellrutt's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Ponbellrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not make images of living things.