Nellrawtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, uncaring crocodile.

Nellrawtarp created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nellrawtarp, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nellrawtarp, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Nellrawtarp's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Nellrawtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill foxes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near mites while wearing green trousers and balancing nine copper spheres on your back.