Faslenhat is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, boastful giraffe.

Faslenhat created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Faslenhat, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Faslenhat, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Faslenhat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Faslenhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Faslenhat's name in vain.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always obey Faslenhat's priests.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not commit murder.