Cancebveg is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, humane fly.

Cancebveg created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cancebveg, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cancebveg, he will destroy your home planet.

Cancebveg's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Cancebveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near cats while wearing purple dresses and balancing five titanium spheres on your back.

2. Cancebveg loves pigs, so they must be respected.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not cook food in pots.