Gamtonkgod is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, confident rat.

Gamtonkgod created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamtonkgod, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gamtonkgod, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gamtonkgod's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gamtonkgod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never sit in the presence of sharks.