Nilpomcan is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, smart spider.

Nilpomcan created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilpomcan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nilpomcan, she will remove you from existence.

Nilpomcan's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nilpomcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not hurt mites.